What a Week!

 It's been an eventful week here at the Nest - both for me personally and for a far larger population.

To start with, I had my first full physical since I took up running at the start of the year. I have a fantastic doctor and, I'll admit, I was hoping that the needle of the dreaded doctors' scale would give me number I could preen about after all the exercise, food tracking, water guzzling, and so on.

Nope.

In fact, according to that lying piece of cheap machinery, I've gained nine pounds, which I'm pretty sure means I weigh the most I ever have. What the what? I was quite dejected about this. On top of which, I'd bought into an idea on a running blog and had started doing ten straight days of running. Yes, I'd kept most of the runs short (which for me means under two miles), but my calf muscles had started screaming at me the day before my appointment. So now I feel hungry (blood tests meant fasting), grumpy, achy, and generally unsettled.

By the way - all of that goes to prove that it's all attitude. Before I saw the number, while I felt hungry, all the rest - including the achiness - wasn't there. Instead, I felt good - like I was taking care of myself and doing the right things. I'm telling you, I'm half a step from crazy three days a week.

This is why you need a doctor you can actually talk to. I laid out my concerns - I'm stressed with multiple deadlines and responsibilities, I have a book contract to fulfill, which is a fantastic opportunity, but a heavy load of additional work. I'm getting older, the weight's creeping on, and I hate tracking food and exercise; it makes me feel additional pressure. I have a wonderful husband I want to be around to enjoy. What can I do?

Gently and with good humor, she explained to me that what I truly need to do is get over it. Seriously. The numbers that concern her - blood pressure, resting heart rate, cholesterol, and those more arcane test numbers from (ahem) bodily fluids - all of those were stellar. Far better than they had been, and she had been happy with them before. Muscle does in fact weigh more than fat and my clothes are fitting just fine, so - keep running, but pay attention to twinges and take regular rest days and I'll see improvement more quickly than if I try to become a Navy SEAL. Eat food that's good for me, but don't track it if I don't want to. Drink plenty of water throughout the day and go to bed at a decent hour to guarantee that I get enough sleep to be sharp and function. Take time every day to rest and stretch and focus. In general, just be kinder to myself. And treat myself to that latte on the way home, although making it with skim milk isn't a bad idea.

Holy smoke. A doctor who talks sense to a patient who's maybe a little too harsh on herself.

I shook her hand and leave the office feeling much better about things and hied myself to the coffee shop where part two begins.

I took my latte and pastry (remember, still fasting at this point) out to a sidewalk table to begin enjoying the sunshine while I pondered the whole get over it thing. Within four minutes, I had a surprising opportunity to mend a fence that had been broken for a decade. Like most people who have passed forty, I've got a past and part of that past is a relationship that ended badly but has both of us still in this same small town. We run in different circles and rarely - very rarely - even see each other. While neither of us hisses and spits on the ground, historically we don't get along, each blaming the other for the demise of a relationship that (let's face it) was bad from the get-go. At any rate, he was walking into the coffee shop, said a cautious hello as he passed my table, and we wound up spending maybe five or six minutes chit-chatting about a huge legal issue facing our state (we're both lawyers, although I don't maintain a practice). I think the hatchet's buried, which is rather nice. We've both moved on and I know I'm in a far better place that I wouldn't be in if I hadn't come to this town and I followed him to this town, so . . . I doubt we send each other Christmas cards, but that's okay, too. Dr. King's right - hate's too big a burden to bear.

So that legal issue we were discussing. Two years ago, North Carolina put gay marriage up to a popular vote in a primary election, when turnout was guaranteed to be low. The language used in the constitutional amendment (we already had a law, but that wasn't good enough for some folks) was harsh and broad, prohibiting not only marriage, but also any form of civil partnership. It was ham-fisted, unfair, and badly thought out. It also passed easily.

Fast forward to this past week. When the Supreme Court refused to grant certiorari to any of the same sex marriage ("SSM") cases up for consideration, it created some chaos. The Fourth Circuit, which includes North Carolina, had ruled that Virginia's law violated the Fourteenth Amendment's Equal Protection clause, but what did that mean for the rest of the states in the circuit? As a practical matter, it meant that SSM was legal in all states in the Circuit, but there was a flurry of filings. Interestingly, most of the focus was on a case in our Middle District. While our attorney general has refused to defend the law, based on the Fourth Circuit ruling, two politicians who used taxpayers' money to hire outside counsel, filed to intervene. While the judge there gave the potential "intervenors" (a fancy word meaning "I'm not a party to the case, but let me in to plead anyway") until 3 pm on Monday to get their act together, a judge in the Western District presiding over a different case (this one involving clergy who maintained that their First Amendment rights were being violated by prohibiting them from performing SSM ceremonies), relying on the Fourth Circuit ruling, struck down all laws and statutes prohibiting SSM in the state of North Carolina.

All laws and statutes. I had been obsessively refreshing my Twitter feed, yet missed the ball. I genuinely thought nothing would happen until Monday. Safe to say, North Carolina sort of exploded - some with happy tears, glitter, and cake, others with frustration, condemnation, and ashes - but the sky remains firmly in place.

As I said - quite a week.

Checking In - September!

What an interesting month it's been! (Such a useful word, "Interesting.")I've had the opportunity to learn a lot about "over-goaling" this month and I'm actually spending a few days re-assessing. Far from being a sign of failure, I've learned this year that those times are crucial to success. I took on too many goals and put too much pressure on myself to excel at all of them all the time, and it's okay to acknowledge that and correct it. Forward motion is progress and sometimes that forward motion is pitching a fit and declaring that there's just no way that all of this can get done right now and, if fact, declaring Bill the Cat to be my spirit animal!! (Pant, pant, sigh, gasp.)

True.

But where's that leave me?

Well, the "good books" and "good movies" challenges are back-burnered right now. With work on the Babylon 5 book heating up already, I found myself overwhelmed and teary at the prospect of doing those things to mark a title off an arbitrary list. I'll get to them, but right now isn't the season for that. I've seen plenty of movies and read plenty of books, but not the ones on "the list" and that's just dandy.

Zone cleaning is sort of in the same boat - it's not a struggle to keep up with my morning and evening routines, but much of anything beyond that is proving to be monumental. I keep the book with the zones out and I read my daily challenge each day and sometimes it gets done and sometimes something else gets done. You know what? The house is still standing and remains in better order than it used to be.

The budgeting challenge hits full-force this month. As I wrote over Labor Day weekend, we had car repair bills that turned into "we can't resurrect her this time," which meant a certain amount of yike! We're mobile again and just fine, but those were not expenses were were prepared for. It's going to be a tough end of the year on that score, no doubt about it, but it'll all work out and hey - we're doing all of this so that soon (on the cosmic scale, anyway), money won't be the issue that it is now. Delayed gratification. Can't say as I like it too much.

Now to report of the 5K challenge, which I've folded into the first-stage-of-wrapping-up "You Gonna Finish That?" Challenge. This was designed to make me hard-core accountable for a number of habits, including diet, exercise, and self-care. (Remember what I said about too many goals?) I used SparkPeople as my diet and exercise tracker which I liked since it had exercise videos and recipes that linked directly to the tracker. I don't like tracking, although I'll admit it's useful to see patterns (I eat too many carbs, for example. Mostly "good" carbs, like whole grains and the carbs found in fruit, but still - that was eye-opening). I made sacrifices in terms of sweets, made sure to drink at least two liters of water per day (yep, I know where every bathroom is throughout my college campus), aimed for hard exercise at least three times a week, and have tried to get more sleep. 

Right at a month in, I can report that, while I still don't like tracking, knowing that I have to do it has made it easier to say "no" to some bad choices. While I'm trying to not give the scale too much authority (I still stink at that, by the way), I'm down four pounds. I've also logged 13 run/walk workouts this month for a total of 31-and-a-touch miles, with 22 of those miles being at a jobble or better. For someone who was staggering around a church parking lot seven months ago, that ain't too shabby! So I'm going to keep this challenge going another month and let's see what we see.

What I really want to add in now is more attention spent on taking better care of me - teaching is not a job that lends itself to being left at the office and researching and writing a book isn't exactly a side job, so my twin goals here are to (a) make the office more pleasant and (b) not be so hard on myself with deadlines that I set and that I know to be ridiculous. I had a small writing project that nearly drove me around the bend that I should have been able to handle with ease, but when added to the several other regular gigs I've got going on (which includes two blogs, a weekly movie show that involves watching and research before the cameras begin rolling, and a regular column over at the pop culture site BiffBamPop), I was perilously close to the non-whimsical version of "crazy." So I reached the conclusion that normal people would've gotten to a long time ago and I'm not taking on more work during this time. Let me keep working on spinning the plates I've already got up on sticks!

Onward!

Checking In - August!

It was just about a week ago that I checked in here regarding progress on the 2014 January resolutions, so I'll be brief on those:

Zone Cleaning Challenge - well, I've got my morning and evening routines down, but adding in the weekly zones is still hit & miss for me.  Now that the semester has started and is finding a routine of its own, this comes back to the forefront.
5K Challenge - who would have thought that I'd find out I actually enjoy jobbling? I have my first "real" (as in timed) 5K race this coming Saturday. I'm nervous, since of course I want to do well, but it's an excited kind of nervous. I'll be doing something that I couldn't have done when I first set these challenges and that has to be viewed as progress of the good kind.
"Good Book" Challenge - Just under the wire, I managed to finish Faulkner's Light in August before I ran out of month. I really, really enjoyed this and I found myself wondering what Faulkner's reaction to the events in Ferguson, MO would be if he were still around to talk with us about Southern mythology, class, and race - always race.
"Good Film" Challenge - Saw several good films this month; none were on my list. Well, it doesn't make me a bad person.
Budgeting Challenge - Doing well enough on this that we enjoyed a weekend away for Labor Day. That probably blew the budget (or perhaps the car repairs will - like Moses, our loyal Bonnie Bonneville didn't make it up the mountain to the Promised Land, but unlike Moses, her damage may be fleeting), but it was a sorely-needed trip and I regret nothing!

I think I "over-goaled" here trying to do everything at once, so I cut myself several breaks as I focused on one good habit at a time instead of trying to overhaul so many aspects of my life at once. But now that a few habits have, in fact, become habits, FryDaddy and I agreed it was time to tackle the elephant.

Eating.

See, I like food. I like white-tablecloth restaurants and I like fried chicken eaten on a tailgate. My comfort food is Southern - pimento cheese, Barefoot's homemade mac 'n' cheese, sweet tea, Krispy Kreme, and so on. I've been known to say (to a good friend, not on a job interview), "You gonna finish that?" while gesturing with my fork. I grew up one of those people who was picky enough of an eater that it seemed I could eat whatever I wanted with no problem. Well, like eight-tracks, those days are gone. Yes, I'm a runner, but I'm a baby runner, and I simply don't burn enough calories to eat like that.

Add to that the fact that my job involves a lot of sitting and typing, and the problem begins to emerge.

Add to that the fact that I deal with stress by eating and the problem comes into focus. 

Add to that the fact that I also do a movie show for local cable, and prep work for that involves sitting and researching the films and sitting in a dark theater to watch the films, which for me as a kid, meant treats like buttered popcorn and candy (maybe a Slushie), and I don't need a nutritionist to tell me what's what.

Oh, I've tried all this before; I've even bought the books and the hype. The result is the same - I'll lose five pounds, then reward myself with a Blizzard. So I've roped in FryDaddy this time to help me. Really, it's not a matter of me not knowing what a portion size is or not realizing that fried is less good for me than broiled, it's a matter of putting theory into practice.

I'm trying to be sensible - no cabbage soup, no "only eat tomatoes for three days," or any of that nonsense - and I know that this will take time, but dammit, I don't want it to. Sigh. Patience may be a virtue, but it's not one of my virtues!

Today has been all about getting ready - I'm eating a few things that will shortly be on the "verboten for now" list (Mickey D's really does have the best fries, you know) and I've done a massive grocery run. No kidding, this one's going to be hard, but for the next month, my plan is to limit my refined carbs (no rice or pasta as a side dish with dinner and no stuffed baked potatoes as dinner), no sweets beyond a touch of good dark chocolate or something similar (au revoir, Fuzzy Peach!), and (gulp!) no movie treats. Let them catch me sneaking in grapes and baby carrots. Let's see where I am in a month. I won't lie - the scale has power over me, but so does my wardrobe, and I'm tired of putting something on and offering up a muttered prayer that the button will fasten.

Deep breath. Here goes - and yes, I'm gonna finish that.

Checking In - June!

First off, let's review - at the start of this year, I set five goals for myself, with the intention of making 2014 a true "makeover year." What were those again?

1. I wanted to keep a neater house, feeling that cleanliness was next to impossible. I reasoned that my life would be calmer if I wasn't frantically searching for "stuff" in the morning.  And I hated spending the weekend cleaning the house or feeling guilty for not cleaning the house.
2. Money's tight, but I wanted to stop using credit cards and live frugally, with the idea of whittling away at the household debt.
3. I decided to watch 24 "good movies" that I really should have already seen.
4. I wanted to read six "good books" that had slipped by me.
5. I wanted to feel stronger, so I decided to train to participate in a 5K race this year. Thus, the "Dancing Sloth" was born.

Well, it's good to have goals and I have no shortage of them. But a funny thing happened this month. I got way off my goals and I discovered something that might just border on the profound.  See what you think.

The goals are going okay, I suppose. My summer classes begin next week, which means that my days become far more structured than June has been - a month during which I didn't work a single full week - so in a strange way, it's a good time to re-evaluate and re-commit. This past month, Ensley and I took a brief "staycation" and there was the gorgeous Slayage conference out in California (read about that here), among other life-affirming jaunts.  I wouldn't trade this past month for a gold monkey, but it's time to get back on the horse, so to speak. So where am I?

1. I still have my basic routines for taking care of the house and I want to work the "zone" idea back into my routines, which I've let slide.
2. Budgeting is on the list of "things to do" for next week. We've been living free and easy, which has played a bit of havoc with the budget goal, although we've been very good about keeping our hands off credit cards. (Not perfect - Slayage, don't you know - but very good.)
3. I'm doing well on the movie challenge.  This month, I marked off three - Hitchcock's Psycho, Ford's Stagecoach, and Kurosawa's Red Beard. (You can read my thoughts about those here.) Another musical, Sondheim's Sunday in the Park with George, is waiting for me. I seemed to have turned a corner there - there had been a couple that I just didn't like and it soured me for a while.
4. The "good books" challenge, on the other hand, has slipped into a crevasse. I read four books in June (and one, Fannie Flagg's Fried Green Tomatoes should count, even if it's not on my list), but the heavy literature had to be put on hold while I dealt with a small brush fire of burnout. (Strangely enough, a really by-the-numbers romance novel helped a bit with that. Yeah, yeah - don't judge.)
5. The 5K challenge - while the Dancing Sloth took some time off due to throat issues (being addressed mid-July) and burnout, she's back now! And a friend has me toying with a major challenge in that area. She's suggested we participate in next summer's Ramblin' Rose Triathlon. Now, it's not a hard-core Ironman sort of thing, but it is swimming, biking, and running - all on the same day. I don't own a bike and I haven't swum laps in years.  Still . . . and the fact I'm even thinking about this is amazing to me.

Now to the breakthrough. I'm not sure if this was the result of a long-simmering process the blossomed into a revelation or was more of a "burning bush" epiphany, but either way - it's a breakthrough.  Ready?  Here it is -

I'm not a sex kitten.

Sure, other people might have known that already, but it's new to me - and what a relief! Maybe it was that clothes-buying spree I wrote about in the last post, maybe it was hearing from so many people at Slayage that they enjoy reading my running posts, but all I know is that I have turned some sort of corner in my soul. Let me tell you, keeping up with the demands of the beauty industry is hard work at the best of times and our society never wants you to admit that you're not a coltish 22-year-old. I'm not, but that being fantastic is news to me. It's like this. I want to do these things - get strong by running and read good books and watch good movies and act like a grown-up with money and taking care of my house - for me. Not for my parents, not for my conference buddies or Facebook friends, not even for my incredibly loving husband, and certainly not for society at large, a sizable segment of which measures me simply on my "hotness" factor and has found me sorely lacking since I'm not that coltish 22-year-old (heck, I'm not even two 22-year-olds!). I wasn't even aware of how much I had been fighting that battle until this year but it's a relief to decide to stop. No, I have no intention of "letting myself go" and eating Nutella from the gallon jug for dinner. (Actually, that doesn't sound so bad . . .) But I'm not as beholden to the slick Photoshopped magazine covers and Internet clickbait that promise me I can lose those final 8 pounds by Tuesday (implying that I need to) and that they'll tell me what he really wants in bed (rather personal and how do you know my husband anyway?). I can't believe how much time I've wasted fretting over the size of my waist and my hips and how much power I've given a stupid number on a scale.

So, although this wasn't one of my original goals, I think it's important enough to report. I've got a new title now. I don't know what the IRS might think of seeing it on my taxes, but I'm a . . .

Sex Kitten - Retired.

I plan on having a great deal more fun on a regular basis, now that I have that knowledge. See, once you're living for you instead of what others think you ought to be, things get mighty interesting. I might put the fuchsia back into my hair. I might get henna tattoos. I might serve on the board of a nonprofit I'm interested in (already agreed to that, actually). I might demand crayons at my next faculty meeting. I don't entirely know how things might manifest, but I'm sure of this - Tasha Tudor was right.  Life is meant to be enjoyed; not saddled with. Eat well because you want to. Get a good night's sleep because you want to. Push yourself to jog to that next mailbox before you galumph back to a huffy, puffy walk because it feels good to push your body to do what it couldn't do two months ago. Insist on treating yourself well because you deserve it. And, for the love of all that's holy - make the world better because you deserve to make a difference. The size of your heart matters far more that the size of your hips.

Meow.

Checking In - May!

Yes, this post is a little bit late and I'll let my previous post (centering on my college reunion) serve as both my explanation and my apology. But here I am, ready to check in and report on my progress through the merry month of May.

Let's recap - the ambitious goals I set to work on throughout the year were:

• Keeping a tidier, less cluttered house. I just can't stand the chaos of "where that thing?" as I'm trying to dash out of the house. But I work full-time, on top of several other large scale projects this year, so this goal involved finding a happy medium of “clean and tidy” versus “doable.”
• Money is a sore point with me – as it would be with anyone who has spent years clutching the trifecta ticket of frozen salaries, disrespect, and rising prices – so we decided (this decision had to be a “we” decision, so FryDaddy is in this one as well) to keep a realistic budget to lower our household debt.
• To strengthen my body, I decided to train to participate in a 5K race sometime this year.
• To improve my mind, I decided to read six "good books" that had slipped past me.
• Also to improve my mind, I decided to watch 24 "good movies" that had slipped past me.

      To be honest, May wasn't a very good month, goal-wise. Between FryDaddy's graduation (no, I'm not calling him "master," in spite of the fact that he's got the funny sleeves), exam week, some required travel, and a host of other activities, it was a full-out crazy month. Lots of fun stuff going on there, but it seemed that everything took precedence over the goal-keeping. So what's that mean?

     

     Well, after a bit of a breakdown - I have a nasty tendency to see things as "keeping score" instead of "this is going to make things easier, but there will be setbacks" - I think I can report some success, although it's been more in this most recent week rather than in May. Therefore, I'm not going to talk about my set goals as much as I'm interested in talking about setbacks and how to approach them. After all, this is something I know a fair amount about.  (Read as - I know A LOT about setbacks!)

    

      Read this until you believe it:  the bad days and weeks and months are going to come. They just will. Unexpected expenses will crop up and play merry hell with your delicate budget and you'll think you're a failure because - golly gee, you could've saved money by recycling dryer lint into creative Halloween costumes but no, you had to go off and buy something. Food that's not especially good for you is cheaper and requires less prep work and it's tempting when the busy times strike. There's no time to clean and you can't settle down enough to concentrate on a "good read" and you just want to be entertained instead of watching a movie from your list. Nothing is working, you've gained ten pounds and you wonder what happened.

      At the risk of sounding like I have things held together with peace and calm instead of duct tape and the use of Anglo-Saxon words as adjectives (look, it's been a few weeks of me yelling at the cats, okay?), when nothing you're doing is working, do nothing. Just stop. Look around. Reassess your goals (seriously - I've had three different people advise me to skip Thoreau's Walden which was my scheduled book. So I decided to read Beloved instead and still haven't started it, although I've read six other things in this period of indecision) and make course corrections as needed. Growth is not constant - that's why we have winter. It's a time in the natural year to recover from expending all the energy it takes to grow, blossom, and harvest to hunker down and consider the Next Step. If it works for carrots and bears, why shouldn't it work for people? (That made more sense before I typed it. I'm still going with it.)

      For example, I went on a shopping trip with my mother this weekend. I mean a SHOPPING TRIP, the kind where you wind up with new everything. Here's the kicker - I asked my mom when the last time was that we did a trip like that. She carefully considered the timeline and said, "Right after you finished law school and took that job in South Carolina." 

      That was in 1998.

      So the deal was that I had to go through my closet and ruthlessly get rid of clothes that no longer worked. I just did that and it was hard - I want to think I'll be that size again and/or that I'll be able to wear that style again and it's hard to be realistic about that sort of thing. (And there were a few things that are getting thrown away rather than being given away - I'd crossed the line from "frugal" into "cheap." Shame on me.)  But I'd rather wear clothes that actually fit me instead of clothes that fit me in 1998 (and yes, I had still had some of those). I'll drop them off at Goodwill in just a little bit - the clothes will work for someone else and I believe in karmic concepts enough to think that giving away creates room in my own life for more good stuff to roll in. I'll get back to drinking water instead of diet soda and my other good habits. Sometimes life demands to be noticed more than the dust bunnies.

      It's okay. Really, it is.

Shh! The Secret Plan Hollywood Doesn't Want You to Know About!

 Like many women, I have occasionally fallen prey to splashy headlines that promise maximum results for minimum effort.  The chirpy vow of "Lose 2 Sizes in 5 Days!" has caused my hand to stretch out almost without conscious effort more than once.  Not just dieting headlines, either - "Organize Instantly!" and "Just Exercise 5 Minutes a Day!" also draw my attention.

Well, it's a bad habit.  A nasty, ugly, bad habit and it stops today.

There are a lot of things I want to change and in the past, I've tried to change them all at once, without bothering to figure out why I do some of the wacky things I do in the first place.  See, I tend to overdo, which (in my case, anyway) leads to an inevitable crash and burn cycle.  Give me strict dietary rules and I'll follow 'em like a lab rat - until I get desperately tired of hot water with lemon before I've washed my face.  So I skip the green tea one morning and go straight for the dollar store candy.  Or I feel a vague sense of "am I kidding me?" at sneaking baby carrots into the movie theater and go for the blue raspberry slushie.  (Seriously - "blue raspberry"?  What is that, exactly?)  Or I miss a "run day" and feel like a slightly more stylish version of Jabba the Hutt.  Or I fail to pick up the kitchen counter one evening and feel like the whole house is due to be condemned by the Board of Health.  And I feel large, unwieldy, unworthy, and sad.

In the last few weeks, I've slowed down enough to take a good look around.  Here's a sampling of the things I found out.

• I stress eat.  And not salads.  I can do something about that.
• I'm not very good at this running stuff. I can do something about that.
• A house is messy when someone moves back into it.  I can do something about that.
• Working too hard for too long will lead to Bad Things and yes, I can do something about that.
• Good relationships don't keep score about who folded the laundry and I can definitely do something about that.

What to me is an epiphany is often to other people a moment of, "Well, yeah."  By demanding that I simultaneously excel in all aspects of my life, I've set myself up to fail at just about all of them. Blasted perfectionism - I thought you and I had had a talk about that, but no.  I bought in to the glossy magazine pictures, forgetting that Photoshop has a lot to do with those pictures and stylists have a lot to do with the rest.  In short, it seems that I've been as crazy as a rat in a coffee can.

So here's my headline - I'm calling this my WILD NEW SUMMER PLAN to Energize Your Life, Love Yourself, Look Great (and Have your House Look Great, Too!)

Really, the whole thing can all be summed up as ENJOY MORE! but in keeping with the whole glossy magazine, self-help thingie, here's my simple 10-step plan to get there:

• Drink more plain ol' water, but remember that a Diet Coke twice a week or so isn't criminal.
• Eat more foods that haven't been processed to the point of being unrecognizable, but it's okay to have that mini-bagel as part of breakfast.  In other words, don't throw out edible food just due to the presence of white flour, but buy better next time.
• Cut out the crap candy and enjoy - just a little! - really good dark chocolate.
• Run anyway.  Sure, my goal of a 40 minute 5K is a small one, but that doesn't mean it's not worth reaching.
• Mark something off the "take care of the house" list five days a week even if it's just flicking the feather duster around while boogie-ing to Earth, Wind & Fire.  Yes, it'll make the cats run and hide, but that's really their problem, isn't it?
• No one's calling Hoarders about the dust bunnies.
• I'm a full-growed woman, which means I have curves and yes, sags.  Ignore the scale and remember that the only "hotness" reading that ought to matter to me comes from FryDaddy, who thinks I'm pretty gosh-darned keen. Just as well - I'd probably break a 20-year-old, anyway.  So fragile.
• Speaking of FryDaddy - he's moved home, so why not enjoy having him there? Checking work e-mails with my morning coffee isn't a good way to start the day, so stop it.
• When I'm berating myself for not measuring up to whatever wackadoodle standard I'm trying to use, stop and ask myself, "Would I let some stranger talk to my best friend that way?" If the answer is "no," then I need to stop talking to myself like that.
• Spend some time every morning and every evening just being still.  I've got more than the average amount of gifts in my life to be grateful for, and it's polite to pay attention.

Will this plan make me a Zen lama in a kickin' bikini?  Nope.  (Funny mental image, though.)  But I'm starting to really believe that being Real might just be better.

Eight Month Check In!

The fall semester has started back and FryDaddy has gone back up-and-over the mountain for his final year of work in his graduate program. So eight months in to this journey, where do things stand?

It seems that good habits have (mostly) taken root.  I'm continuing with my workouts and, while my weight doesn't seem inclined to change, I feel much, much better.  I have more energy and I'm at peace with the dread machine known as the bathroom scale.  It's normal for me now to get up and do a half-hour workout before getting ready to leave the house, so it's definitely a habit.  I vary the workouts between sweat-inducing cardio (there's a cardio ballet one that I really like, although I'm pretty sure I disturbed the ghost of Pavlova with my interpretations of classical ballet), some light weight training (mostly using my own body weight, sometimes supplemented with canned goods), and stretching for flexibility.

I have housekeeping routines in place that have helped me feel more in control - there's always room for improvement in that area, but the house is "15 minutes from company ready" most days, with the major areas picked up, clean dishes, laundry caught up, etc.  It's rare that I don't have my work things ready the night beforehand and most days, I manage to carve out time for myself, whether it's through a cup of tea sipped instead of slurped standing over the sink or a few minutes a reading non-work stuff before bed.  By the way, FryDaddy is very onboard with this and is more than willing to pitch in.  A less-stressed Mockingbird makes for a happier Nest and who doesn't like that?

Exactly.

Areas for improvement?  Well, I still need to rein in my rampant sweet tooth.  While I eat properly and well about two-thirds of the time, I want to increase that percentage.  And I want to up my workouts to a consistent six times a week.  They don't all have to be in the morning, but I feel better when I do them, so it makes sense to do them often.  For both, I know what I need to do and, just as I Got Serious in other areas of my life, I need to apply the principles to that area as well.

Also, last month FryDaddy worked to tape out the front room and Barefoot and I spent two days in all manner of awkward positions transforming that room from a pale green that I loved seven years ago to a changeable warm off-white that is bright and gorgeous!  FryDaddy and I deep-cleaned the carpet and re-arranged furniture.  We also had some light fixtures swapped around and ventilation fans installed in the two bathrooms.  After starting a "family wall" of photos in the hall, we stood back and marveled and the works we (with some help) had wrought.  Nice.  Very nice.  It's so important that this house be "our" house and to do that, we needed to change some things - it may have taken us the better part of three years, but we're getting there, inside and out.

It's good to work hard and then be content.  That hasn't happened often with me.

Goals for this month?  Keep up the good work, and (aside from a Labor Day cookout), curb the junk food.  I've used the movie show I co-host (now with 50% more FryDaddy   If you're local, check out TV19!) as an excuse to indulge in too much buttered popcorn and movie candy for too long.  Time to sneak in baby carrots and grapes.  It's not a hardship - I like baby carrots and grapes and the movie food has gotten to the point that it's not a treat anymore.

Onward!

Seven Month Check In!

I very nearly called this post "Retreat!  Retreat!" but it sounded too urgent and a wee bit militaristic, which is pretty much the polar opposite of what this post is about, so I kept with the established "monthly check in" theme.

At the start of July, I added regular daily workouts to my (still developing) routines.  I've de-cluttered most of the house, so it was high time I began to take a look at the clutter I carry around with me body-wise.  As I said before, I know what I ought to eat, and I've made some healthy changes in those directions, but my sweet tooth leads me to despair sometimes.  But what really bugged me was that I just didn't feel strong - and I wanted to.  So I had started experimenting in June with workouts and quickly figured out a few things:

• I had to be realistic - why was I doing this?  My goal isn't to become a runner (no offense to my friends who go that way) or bench-press my body weight - I want to get fit, lose that same fifteen pounds that insists on sticking close to me, and have energy throughout my day.
• I needed to pick something that I could do in my house - past history has shown me that gym workouts don't work well for me with my schedule.
• I needed something that didn't require equipment.
• I needed something that made me break a sweat, yet was short enough that I could do it often.

So I settled on three days of half-hour interval training (short bursts of intense activity, followed by shorter periods of less intense movement) and three days of strength training (starting at one set and adding another set every two weeks - I'm up to three and am aiming for four).  I'm experimenting with substituting one day of yoga for one of the strength training sessions and my regular half-hour walk is still part of my daily round.  How to do this?  Welcome to YouTube!  I have a regular set of videos I use (there's a boxing one and [hangs head] one that's designed around 70s pop music) and I might expand those after I've done this routine for eight weeks (I'm just about to start Week Six) - we'll see.

Not much change in either weight or inches, but I have to say - I feel better.  More energy and I'm beginning to feel stronger.  I'm going to keep with it - I'll report back in another month.  And I've heard that no matter how slowly I go, I'm still lapping the me that sat on the couch, so there's that.

This past weekend, my routines were disrupted a bit as I kept a promise to a friend and went on a women's retreat in the mountains.  I've never done such a thing before and I wasn't at all sure.  (Seriously.)  I have to say, it was magnificent.  We stayed at a Catholic retreat center that was basic (not rustic - all the modern amenities were there) and far enough removed from the world that you actually had time and space to listen to the clamor in your own head and work to still it - I thought of it as dealing head-on with my mental clutter.  The center had extremely limited Wi-Fi, which turned out to be a godsend for me.  I've become a touch tech-dependent and I believe it did me a world of good to unplug for 40 hours.  I left the iPad plugged in and used it as an alarm clock and noted the amount of water I drank, but that was it.  No logging my food (yummy summer camp style food, by the way), no checking Facebook or e-mail or news.  (OK, I did call to check in with FryDaddy, but this was massive unplugging for me!)  Obviously, I'm plugged back in, but I think that's going to change some this next month - unplugging meant I paid more attention to the people around me, instead of being that Jimmy Buffett lyric about "taking Polaroid pictures that are never in focus/Just to look at when they finally slow down."

This weekend was marvelous.  And these women are inspiring - tough, funny, honest, and quick to see the best in you.  Really, I want to be these women when I grow up.  Thanks to their example, maybe I'm a little further along that path today than I was last Thursday.

It's going to be a good month!

Three Month Check In!

Which is the Cadbury one?

Well, I'm about 90 days into my "let's get real about overhauling things" journey and it's time for a monthly summary.  I'm pleased to report that things look much better than they did a month ago.

First up, after the Doldrums of February, I had to get re-committed to my goals.  I did this and yes, I'm back on track. I broke a weight-loss plateau, which was nice, but more importantly, I am able today to look back on a solid month of drinking the amount of water I'm supposed to (just water - I don't count anything else, like my daily coffee fix, or my occasional sodas or tea) and eating at least four servings of fruit/vegetables a day.  (I know that's not enough, but that was my goal and I made it.  In April, I'll shoot for five.)  As silly as it may sound, an app called Plant Nanny is helping with the water aspect of things.  Since mid-March, I've "grown" a pompadoured dandelion and a Devil's Ivy that looks like a very happy celery.  Yesterday, I just started a cactus and I had to give that puppy 24 ounces of water before he stopped sulking this morning.  (Yes, I know how weird that sounds.)

Walking has gotten easier.  I've missed my daily 8,000 steps goal four times this month, but that's okay, too. Remember that I don't take "days off" with that, so every single day I'm trying to fit in those steps.  Some days - whether due to work, play, or just weather (March is changeable indeed!) - it just didn't happen.  Then again, I've made it more a priority, which is especially good on those l-o-n-g office days.  Get up and move - it helps your mind shift gears.

The house - funny story here.  About five years ago, I had my old-school jalousie windows replaced with full glass ones.  I was all about them being far more energy efficient, but when the installer was trying to demonstrate to me how easy they were to clean, because they tilt inwards, I looked at him like he was extolling the virtues of eating buzzard guts.  Wash windows?  Crazy.  Until I gave it a try this month.  I need to call that guy - he's right!  It IS easy, it DOES let in more light, and the whole house looks better!  I'm trying to follow the FlyLady system of "it's good enough and you can do anything for 15 minutes a day" as I declutter and organize the house this year and with window-washing, all I'm doing is washing the windows of one room a week.

By the way, if you're feeling that your house is cluttered, dingy, crowded, and hardly a place of haven from the hurly-burly of the world, RUN, don't walk, to FlyLady.net and click the "Getting Started" tab.  Then shine your sink.  I know, I know.  It sounds silly and irrelevant.  Do it anyway.  I found this system just before the New Year and it's mind-blowing.  It'll take me all year to get it down pat, but I've got the basics and I've decluttered a ton (probably literally) in 90 days and I've got my morning/evening routines in place.  And yes, I work full time.  You can still do this and your house can be a place that welcomes you rather than a place you want to hide from.  15 minutes a day.  Don't try to do it all at once.

In other news:

• Easter is tomorrow!  I have an inexplicable urge to put on a flowered hat and this is an urge I shall obey.
• There's no joyous Easter without the solemnity of Maundy Thursday and (especially) Good Friday.  On Maundy (Holy) Thursday, we are reminded of the call to serve others that is a hallmark of the Christian faith as the pastor humbly washes the feet of a congregant.  (It's a holdover from the Catholic Church and the newly-elected Pope Francis got this one right.  Wow! Jesuits. There may be some serious shaking up of things with this pontiff.)  My religious tradition also involves a Good Friday service that chills me as with each of the readings, the sanctuary gets progressively darker, until the final words "It is finished" are spoken, the Christ candle is extinguished, and the massive book of scripture is slammed shut.  Congregants then disperse in silence, a far cry from the usual chatter that follows my favorite benediction: "Go preach the Gospel.  Use words if necessary."
• My drama class finished their examination of Macbeth by watching Kurosawa's Throne of Blood this week.  Yeah, everybody (and there were a few) who sneered and told me that my students couldn't appreciate/handle a black-and-white film with subtitles and even the ones who thought I should show it for the same reason parents give Brussels sprouts to their kids - they won't like it, but it'll be good for them - can please accept my invitation to go take a running leap into the nearest lake.  They got it, it was valued over the BBC "straight" version they saw last week, and several of them loved it.  That made my day.  It really, really did.
• In scribbling news, a major milestone has been reached in the writing of Wanna Cook? the guide to Breaking Bad that I'm co-writing with Ensley (also known here as FryDaddy).  We have a detailed breakdown of deadlines for the rest, and the whole enchilada is due to be written, edited, polished, and (whew!) handed it for printing in mid-October.  It's going to be a wild six months, but I sincerely believe the bulk is done.  
• It's a gorgeous, early-spring day, I've got a house that's decently in order, a husband who thinks I'm the best decision he's ever made, two cats with distinct personalities, a dog that could make Scrooge smile, more friends than my house can hold, work I enjoy, a weekly movie show, and a book contract.  On top of that, I have a spa day scheduled Monday with two girl friends and next week is spring break.
• It's good to count your blessings and run out of fingers.

Happy Easter to all!

One Month Check In

Gold Star Days!

A month ago, I listed mock resolutions and then my real ones.  I thought now was a good time to check in with all of you as a way of keeping myself accountable (a word I use a lot these days!).  After all, the semester has started and is has nearly found its rhythm - let's see if it's one I can dance to.

So about the "eat better" part - I actually seem to be doing pretty well on this one.  Way more water and far less caffeine.  I chucked everything for my birthday weekend, but have still managed to lose 5 pounds this month without all that much effort.  Tracking my food on MyFitnessPal also keeps me accountable and I like that it's synced up with Striiv to keep track of my exercise calories.

Speaking of exercise, I started getting serious with the step count.  I like walking, so I decided to make it my primary exercise - it's cheap, easy, and doesn't require extra equipment (although I carry around the iPad with the Striiv app, since I have an older, "non-smart" phone).  I started the first week of January with a modest goal of 6,000 steps a day and have increased it by 500 steps a week, which means that I'm currently at a daily goal of 8,000 steps (with my stride, that's about 3.3 miles).  I'm sticking at 8,000 for the month of February to solidify the habit, then I hope to increase some more with the idea of eventually hitting 10,000 steps a day as a regular thing.

As to the house - well, it's a funny thing.  I was leafing through books over the holidays and my eye was caught by something called Body Clutter.  As I skimmed through it (and it's on my nightstand now), I discovered a whole organizational system called FlyLady.  What so attracted me to this was the idea that you don't have to get everything done today; in fact, don't try that - you'll scorch out and be in a worse place than you were before.  Just take baby steps and start with shining your sink.  I know - crazy, right?  My house is in chaos and you want me to fuss over the sink?!?  Yep.  I figured it wouldn't work, but that I could at least try so I could SAY it didn't work but - holy cow.  It really does.  Having that one little thing done right makes a spot of clarity in the house and you can work out from there.  While there's still plenty to get done, I have two closets straightened and I've become Goodwill's new best friend as started the de-cluttering process.  And my sink is shined, thankyouverymuch.

Travel - well, not so much just yet.  I haven't even gotten back up to see FryDaddy in Johnson City, although he's faithfully made the trip down here.  Weather's been iffy going over the mountains and his schedule allows for longer weekends than mine.  We're hoping to plan some designated "play time" this year - maybe with some time at the beach, maybe with some non-working time in the mountains.  The important thing is that we're planning it.

I just have to tell you - one thing I'm doing to keep myself motivated during this "Year Of Change" is a habit from kindergarten.  I went to the dollar store and bought a slew of those foil stars.  At the end of every day, if I've made my goals, I get a gold one on the calendar.  If I didn't make all of them, it's green - hey, I tried and that's worth a star in any event!  In January, my "gold star" was earned for accomplishing three things - shining the sink, reaching my step goal with my walking, and drinking my 8 glasses of water a day.  A silly system, maybe, but I only had 2 "green star" days all month!

Not bad at all for Month 1!