It may be Earth Day, but I've decided to publicize another, less noticed holiday. That's right, sports fans - it's time to prepare for the natal day of the Bard! Verily, ol' Billy's got a birthday coming up and you need to be ready! So permit me to present some assistance to get you ship-shape for "Talk Like Shakespeare" Day! As you can see from the link, this got its start in - Chicago?? Well, why not? Shakespeare belongs to the world, right?
What? You say you're intimidated? You claim you know nothing of iambic pentameter? Fear not - the basic rules are quite simple. Click here and become fluent in minutes! (You can also be entertained by a variety of Bard-inspired clips, including the Beatles doing a not-to-be-missed version of the "Pyramus & Thisbe" bit from Midsummer Night's Dream. There's also something about a musical version of Hamlet featuring Gilligan, but my courage wasn't screwed quite tightly enough to the sticking place to check that one out!)
And don't forget the practical applications here! Cut off in traffic and want to vent? Why settle for the mundane title of "jerk" when you can go with "yeasty deformity"? But don't trust me - try the "Shakespearean Insult Generator." Hours of fun for the entire family!