I have not withdrawn into despair,
I did not go mad in gathering honey
I did not go mad
I did not go mad
I did not go mad.
-- Hoda Al-Namani
I haven't written in longer than normal. That's not the pattern here at the Nest and I hope it doesn't become the pattern. Generally, I post here weekly, but the last two weeks have been unusual-to-bizarre. I don't want to go into detail on that, so let's just leave it at this.
I've been crazy.
Not dangerous, "homicidal maniac" crazy, but not the whimsical, "oh, let's splash barefoot in the fountain" sort either. I was beyond the limits of merely stressed out and lurching seriously toward Froot Loop territory. You know that land - it's where nothing works quite right and you can't see any way through the stone wall in your path other than to batter your head bloody against it. (Gentle hint - see if you can go up and over it, or consider digging. Or - here's an idea! - look for a door.) At any rate, it wasn't pretty and I'm glad it's (apparently) over.
I've been a Froot Loop before. There are just some things in life that I seem flat-out destined to have to learn over and over. I include those lessons here so that, hopefully, some kind of good can come from my trip to the borders of Crack-Up Land.
- People have free will and, as such, will not do what you want them to do if it conflicts with what they want to do.
- When technology doesn't work, try it a second time. Then read the directions and try a third time. But at that point, if it doesn't work, call a professional and walk away from it!!
- It's okay to not know everything about anything, much less everything about everything.
- Not every obstacle in your path was put there by the Universe specifically to vex you.
- Try to be patient and that includes treating yourself with compassion.
- To wit, healthy eating and exercise habits are good, but when you feel like the only activity you're up for is to curl up in your rattiest pajamas and cry soundlessly, get ice cream. Stat.
- Music is a balm to the ruffled soul and if other people don't share your tastes, shut the door and crank it up. Personally, I find Earth, Wind & Fire to be useful in these times, but if Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute is your thing, peace be upon you.
- It's not as bad as it seems. And you really don't have to take it so seriously.
- No matter how frustrated and angry you become when the Universe persists in acting with total indifference to your whims, never act in such a way as to scare small children or animals. They don't get that you're not actually nuts.
- No matter what it is, be it tech that won't work or the Twilight craze, this too shall pass.
True, I did not go mad. But if I'd remembered these things, I probably could have gotten saner earlier and I know I'd have been considerably easier to live with.