A title that needs some explanation. I was having coffee with a friend the other day and we were lamenting the lack of snow we'd gotten after being promised - nay, prophesied - a "major snow event." I hate being disappointed, although I shouldn't have bought into the hype. Still, it was (to use the vernacular) a bummer.
Anyway, the conversation turned to other things we find frustrating and I said something along the lines of, "Sometimes you just want to beat the other person with your bare hands." My friend replied, "Bare hands, nothing. Hand me a pipe!"
Hence the title of the post. Now, I am not advocating random (or even carefully-planned) violence in a back alley. But it's true - sometimes you just get exasperated and, even though you'd never actually swing the pipe, it can look momentarily tempting. Therefore - a list of things I find pipe-worthy. You'll notice that most of these are petty, niggling little things. Somehow those get under my skin more than the massive things like famine and man's inhumanity to man. (Hey, it's MY list!) So, in no particular order, 5 things that make me want to swing:
1. Is it really necessary to cut me off in traffic and then slow down?
2. I despise people who curse randomly in public. Yes, yes, we all know the words; couldn't you try to be a wee bit more creative? Not every Anglo-Saxon vulgarity needs to be used as an adjective because you're too lazy to think up a new way to express yourself.
3. Not tipping your waiter/waitress is just mean. It's a rough job and that person is not there to dance for you like a monkey on a string. Standard is 15% where I'm from and if you can't calculate that, figure out 10% (it's easy; just move the decimal one place to the left) and double it until you learn how to do the math.
4. People who whine and complain about being called for jury duty, then do their level best to weasel out of it, and then have the raw nerve to complain about our justice system.
5. People who take cell phone calls at the movies - if your buddy wanted to come with you, they'd be there! Simple rule, people - when the lights go down, turn off the phone!
Well, that's the start of my list. What yanks your chain?